Day 3.1: If you are an Asian, you will definitely understand what I said.

It's been the third day. My mom is still ignoring me, not that I have the courage to speak to her either but you know, its rather sad when our pride and ego has overpowered us so much that it covers our eyes to see things properly and make us hurt each other this way. Yeah, I know.. Asian problems...

So, today I went to school as well, my friend gave me a ride. In a way, I was somewhat better but still, the pain of being disapproved was killing me. At class, the bubbly little classmates of mine are very anxious about Rillakuma. They are literally stalking his Facebook in front of me, which I don't really mind. But still, I was kind of embarassed at the same time.

There are all sorts of reaction coming from them. I felt a sense of proud when they were praising Rilakkuma's work on Facebook. You know, when someone says your partner did amazing things, you will automatically felt happy and proud of them. I was like that especailly because I know how much effort he put in each and every single one of his work. I'm really proud of you Rilakkuma, and I know you can do better in this.

Well, that's that and then...the funny part came. Rillakuma used to have long straight hair. And he is really skinny. I remember alot of people has mistaken him for a girl back then especially when you see him from the back view. So, when my classmates saw his long hair pictures, they were asking who is that person and some even asked, is that his sister? I'm not gonna lie, but yeah, I laughed! It was really funny. After I have calmed down from laughing, I told them that was Rilakkuma.

They were so shocked, they actually zoomed the picture and have that really exaggerated expression as the detaily looked at the picture again. Oh my god... I can still remember their face when they did that!! Haha!

And then, that's school. Another day has passed but I really don't want to go back home yet. I did rather stayed at school than go home and face walls, so yeah, I stayed at school. I know. I know, right now I might be very rebellious, very selfish but if you look at it in a different perspectives, you will see I am actually not being that rebellious.

I used to heard this tale, I don't remember where I heard this but I remember it clearly its about a conversation between Confucius and a kid that was frequently beaten up by his father.

Confucius asked the boy,"Boy, why are you letting your father hit you everyday? why won't you fight back?"
"I shouldn't fight back. This is prove of me being a loyal child and not sinned to the family," says the boy.
Confucius listens carefully and then replies,"But, if your father hits you to death, you would have made him sinned. Then you are in fault too."
The boy was stunt for a moment, but he knows Confucius was right about it. Feeling burdened, he asked, "Then what should I do now?"

Confucius calmly just, "In order to not sinned and make your father sinned, you should... avoid him."

I don't know how, but this tale struck me. If you can't fight it, you void it. If you are an Asian, you will definitely understand what I said. Because eversince young we, Asian children are being taught to accept, listen and respect the elders no matter what situation it is. So at some point in life, when we start to have our thoughts in something and we wanted to express it out, a part of us know, its impossible to convey what we want or think about because it is consider disrespectful to the elders and they hardly even listen which is an irony in the Asian lifestyle. And in the end, we keep it to ourselves.

I'm sorry if I sounded rude now but Asian elders, especially really conservatives one, believes they  are the only one who can think better and knows what's best for us youngsters. But they don't. The world is changing and young people has their own thoughts for things. Its just that we have always been taught to accept and respect in this traditional culture of being Asian sometimes, us, youngsters we didn't get to sound out what we think.

Well, I'm not saying that we should dumped the tradition of being Asian, what I am saying is, I just hope elders could listen and accept our thoughts as well. Yes, I respect you but, please clear your mind and listen to me. Seriously we are not even trying to be secretive or being delusional in our world, we just couldn't get you, the elders to see what we see and think how we think.

Okay...I got a little off track now about Asian culture, but my point in my story now is since my parents are so strongly disapproving me now, I felt like I can't get it through no matter what I said to them. So in the end, I choose to avoid them. It wasn't on purpose and its definitely not forever but atleast for now, I think I need to have some space. I hope you can listen someday... You will right??