Day 1.5 : I can felt it... Eventhough it was merely through his one text.

I am still thinking about what should I do next? As I think about it the more, my tears keep coming non stop. I stare at my phone.

Should I tell him? He will be heartbroken if he knew...But who else can I talk to?

No. This isn't right. Things like this isn't something I should hide. If I start hiding things from him now, I will hide even more things from him in the future. He would hate it even more if I did that.

I pick up my phone. I wanted to call but I don't want him to hear my crying voice. I texted him instead.

"Hey, you busy now?"
"No... Doing work now. Why? Is everything alright? :)"

I was trying to hold it in, but that question... That one question throws me back at reality. My tears start to fall again. How I wish he was here with me...

With trembling hands, I carefully type out every word I want to say.

"I'm not okay..."
"What happen?"

I told him everything. How my family reacted about us. How they disapprove of us. Everything.

As I read his reply, I cry even more. I can felt it. How hurt he is hearing all that from me. And how helpless he felt for not being able to console me and be by my side that time. I can felt it... Eventhough it was merely through his one text.

In a situation like this, we don't have much choice to choose. We don't want my family to hate us, and we don't want to let go either. In the end, we chosed a choice. To stay together. To be with each other. Eventhough we must lie about us.

He might not know this, but I felt that I have wronged him so much that time. How can I did this to him? To us?

Having him to learn the harsh truth from me, to have to lie for me and accept all this without a single lament... A guy like him, Why is he so kind to me?

That night... I cry myself to sleep. I think I found him. A guy who will truly loves me but... I've hurt him right from the first day. I'm sorry my Rillakuma. Sorry for hurting you like this. Sorry.